Why do I stay with someone who hurts me?

Another reason people stay in hurtful relationships is our belief in what we call “unconditional love.” People often ask what unconditional love means, unsure whether we still have to love someone if they hurt us because we can't attach conditions to love—such as refusing to tolerate abuse.


Why do I keep going back to the person who hurt me?

The mind tries to focus on the painful memories, but the heart will hold on to the beautiful ones. Those are the ones that will haunt you. There is comfort in familiarity, so sometimes we cling tighter to the good memories than we do to the bad. This is why we keep running back to the people who have hurt us.

Why do I love the person who hurts me?

Trauma Bonding is when we are attracted to someone because they remind us of our past traumas. A good example of this would be if you have an ex who broke your heart, you might be attracted to people who remind you of that person.


Why do I still have feelings for someone who treated me badly?

We feel they love us even though they treat us badly. This contradiction is known as cognitive dissonance, where we believe two contradictory thoughts at the same time. As a result of the contradiction we can become more extreme in our thoughts and behaviours as we wrestle with the disconnect.

What do you do when someone hurts you repeatedly?

They will help you develop some new techniques and keep you from reacting to new hurts in old ways.
  1. Recognize the offense for what it is. ...
  2. Resist the tendency to defend your position. ...
  3. Give up the need to be right. ...
  4. Recognize and apologize for anything you may have done to contribute to the situation. ...
  5. Respond, don't react.


Why You Hold On To Someone Who Hurt You



How do you make someone realize they hurt you?

5 Steps for Telling Someone They Hurt or Disrespected You
  1. Start with why what you want to say is important. ...
  2. Briefly describe what happened that felt hurtful or disrespectful. ...
  3. Say how their behavior made you feel—the impact. ...
  4. Ask for what you need going forward. ...
  5. End by reinforcing why you are making this request.


When emotional pain is too much?

If you're feeling life is painful at the moment, it's highly advisable that you reach out to a mental health professional, or contact a crisis line and similar resources. Once you've reached out, you may also want to try some of these techniques to help you find relief from your emotional pain.

Why can't I get over someone who hurt me?

"Feeling betrayed by someone whom you thought had your best interests at heart is emotionally treacherous because you feel as though you were not only betrayed, but you were fooled and disrespected,“ she says. No one wants to be made to feel a fool, and the shame of that can linger even longer than the usual heartache.


Why does the person you love the most hurt you more?

We hurt the one we love for several reasons: 1) Unconscious re-creation of emotional trauma – we all experience various degrees of emotional hurt and trauma growing up. Unfortunately, we form part of our identities around whatever we experience, be it love, distance, drama, or verbal or physical abuse.

What is emotional invalidation?

Emotional invalidation is the act of dismissing or rejecting someone's thoughts, feelings, or behaviors. It says to someone: “Your feelings don't matter. Your feelings are wrong.”

How do you know if your heart is broken emotionally?

If your heart is broken, you might feel symptoms common to depression:
  1. Fatigue.
  2. Reduced or increased appetite.
  3. Sleeping too little or too much.
  4. Lack of interest in your usual activities.
  5. Anxiety.


Can someone who hurt you love you?

Love is closely connected with vulnerability: the ability to hurt and to be hurt. Although some kinds of hurt in love are intended, most of them are not. Nevertheless, someone who deliberately hurts another person can simultaneously claim to love that person.

Can someone who loves you hurt your feelings?

Hurting the Ones You Love

Those we love the most can hurt us the most. This is not because they intend to hurt us, but instead it's because we love them so much that even the slightest sharp tone can prick our hearts. This is a normal part of our most emotionally significant relationships.

Should you be friends with someone who hurt you?

True friends and healthy relationships should never be one-sided or compromise the integrity of your well-being. If you see that a situation is toxic and you wind up being the one who keeps getting hurt, you should definitely close the door to that situation completely.


How do you trust again after being hurt so many times?

How To Overcome A Fear Of Trust After Being Hurt In A...
  1. Acknowledging Your Vulnerability Is Important. ...
  2. Trust Yourself First. ...
  3. Change Your Thinking. ...
  4. Learn How to Forgive Others and Yourself. ...
  5. Allow Time for Self-Healing. ...
  6. How Loving Yourself Plays a Huge Role. ...
  7. You Don't Have To Battle Vulnerability Alone.


How do you get back at someone who hurts you emotionally?

The best way to get back on someone who hurt you is to work on yourself. Work on getting in shape and moving forward. If your ex sees you don't need him to be happy, that will be revenge enough.
...
Take care of yourself.
  1. Allow yourself to experience and deal with your emotions. ...
  2. Do things that make you happy.


Why am I mean to the person I love the most?

You may hurt the one you love the most simply because they are the ones that are mostly around. Our emotions, thoughts and behaviours are in constant interplay. If we have a negative mood, we are therefore more likely to act in ways that match our emotional state or get triggered by innocuous and harmless stimuli.


Is it true that true love hurts?

Turns out yes, it's normal for love to hurt. And you don't have to be in an abusive relationship for this to happen. In fact, even good relationships can bring some aching discomfort at times. Caring deeply about someone else is enough to transform emotional pain into physical pain — the science says so.

What hurts a woman in a relationship?

It hurts a wife when the husband would rather confide in another woman and praise another woman. 7. It hurts a wife when she tries her best to be a good wife, cook for him, serve him, stay sexy for him, stay faithful to him; but he just doesn't notice her effort. 8.

Why is it hard to forgive someone who hurt you?

Ways that hinder forgiveness may include: holding on to the grudge, thinking it will somehow punish the other person so we can feel righteous; hoping we will be protected from getting hurt again; believing that fairness and justice must be served, since the other person was wrong; and/or.


How long does it take to get over someone who hurt you?

"It can take anywhere from six weeks to three months to forever, depending on how intense the relationship was, how invested you were in each other, and how heartbroken you are," says Jane Greer, PhD, New York-based marriage and family therapist and author of What About Me? (Those three factors all sort of piggyback on ...

What should not be forgiven in a relationship?

Controlling Tendencies. If your partner is trying to control your thoughts and actions, likes and dislikes, and your circle of friends, among other things, it could be unforgivable, as it shows a lack of respect and a scary, over-bearing nature.

What are the 5 signs of emotional suffering?

Common warning signs of emotional distress include:
  • Eating or sleeping too much or too little.
  • Pulling away from people and things.
  • Having low or no energy.
  • Having unexplained aches and pains, such as constant stomachaches or headaches.
  • Feeling helpless or hopeless.


Can emotional pain change your personality?

“The study shows people with chronic pain experience disruptions in the communication between brain cells. This could lead to a change in personality through a reduction of their ability to effectively process emotions.

How do I stop my heart from hurting emotionally?

Self-care strategies
  1. Give yourself permission to grieve. ...
  2. Take care of yourself. ...
  3. Lead the way in letting people know what you need. ...
  4. Write down what you need (aka the 'notecard method') ...
  5. Go outdoors. ...
  6. Read self-help books and listen to podcasts. ...
  7. Try a feel-good activity. ...
  8. Seek professional help.