Why do borderlines end up with Narcissists?

The Attraction
In the case of the borderline sufferer, when they first encounter the narcissist, they see everything they are not and cannot do. They're amazed by their confidence, as they recognise its absence in their own life. They find being involved with them validates their character, boosting their self-esteem.


Do people with BPD end up with narcissists?

Ask any mental health professional knowledgeable about BPD and they'll tell you that these two types of personality disorders tend to be attracted to each other. The borderline and narcissist relationship is prevalent and most likely, incredibly toxic and abusive.

Can someone with BPD have a relationship with a narcissist?

But, people with Borderline Personality and Narcissistic Personality Disorders can find one another attractive and may actually forge more stable relationships with one another, at times, than they can with people without personality disorders.


How do BPD relationships finally end?

BPD splitting destroys relationships by causing the person to distort how they see themselves and others. BPD relationships shift between highs and lows. BPD splitting destroy relationships in the way that the person defends against bad feelings within themselves so that they can feel good about themselves.

Who do people with BPD attract?

Those who have BPD tend to be very intense, dramatic, and exciting. This means they tend to attract others who are depressed and/or suffering low self-esteem. People who take their power from being a victim, or seek excitement in others because their own life is not where they want it to be.


Why Are Narcissists and Borderlines Magnetized to Each Other? 🤔



Why do borderlines have a favorite person?

This is where the term “favorite person” comes from in the borderline community. There is usually one of two people that we absolutely idolize and want to spend all our time with, and if they are busy and can't spend time with us we tend to get angry and feel abandoned.

How can you tell if someone with BPD loves you?

If you suspect you're someone with BPD's favorite person, they may exhibit the following signs toward you:
  • Consistent need for reassurance.
  • Intense declarations of their love or appreciation for you.
  • Reaching out more frequently when you don't respond.
  • Fear that you will leave them or no longer love them.


How long does an average BPD relationship last?

Results found in a 2014 study found the average length of a BPD relationship between those who either married or living together as partners was 7.3 years. However, there are cases where couples can stay together for 20+ years.


How long do BPD breakups last?

One study found most women with BPD (68.7%) experienced frequent breakups and reconciliations within their relationships, and over 18 months, almost 30% of them permanently broke up with their significant others. On average, couples broke up about once every 6 ½ months but tended to get back together.

How long does a BPD split last?

Splitting often occurs cyclically and very suddenly. A person with BPD can see the world in its complexity. But they often change their feelings from good to bad rather frequently. A splitting episode can last for days, weeks, months, or even years before shifting.

What happens when a borderline dates a narcissist?

The Narcissistic individual may react with rage or withdrawal, which then triggers the Borderline partner's abandonment fears. The Borderline feels abandoned, anxious, and emotionally deregulated, and the pattern begins all over again, as the Borderline's anxiety triggers the Narcissists wounds and desire to withdraw.


Are borderlines vulnerable Narcissists?

One study found that approximately 13% of those with BPD also met the diagnostic criteria for NPD. Another report found that as many as 39% of people with BPD may have NPD as well. When BPD and NPD co-occur, someone is likely to have a specific subtype of NPD known as covert, or vulnerable, narcissism.

Why do people with BPD date people with NPD?

When the person with NPD meets someone with BPD, they can tend to use them to fulfil their need for validation, often at the expense of the BPD sufferer's boundaries and feelings. This insatiable need for attention coupled with the heightened emotions of BPD to make a volatile mix.

Are borderlines psychopaths?

BPD features are highly represented in subjects with psychopathy as well as psychopathic traits are highly prevalent in patients with BPD.


What does narcissism look like in BPD?

Borderline personality disorder and narcissism are two pervasive pathologies. The major issues of borderline stem from unstable emotions/sense of self and fear of abandonment. Narcissists' focal concerns involve excessive self-importance, lack of empathy, and an eagerness to feed the ego.

Do people with BPD obsess?

They can even become obsessive. These emotional switchbacks can be difficult to handle. Sometimes they can lead to uncomfortable public scenes. The impulsive behavior of a person with BPD may put that person or their partner at risk, too.

Do borderlines feel remorse?

Only remorse leads to a real apology and change. One of the hallmarks of people with Borderline Personality Disorder or Narcissistic Personality Disorder (BP/NP) is that they often do not feel truly sorry. Even though a BP/NP may say he or she is sorry, there is often something lacking.


Are BPD relationships toxic?

Often, the person with BPD will react towards loved ones as if they were the abusers from their past, and take out vengeance and anger towards them. When the person with BPD feels abandoned, they can become abusive or controlling as a way to defend against feelings of abandonment or feeling unworthy.

Do borderlines ever fully recover?

Borderline personality disorder (BPD) cannot be cured, and anyone who enters treatment looking for a quick and easy fix is bound to be disappointed. However, with treatment the symptoms of BPD can be effectively managed, monitored, and ultimately reduced in intensity, or entirely eliminated.

What it's like to date a borderline?

Dating someone with borderline personality disorder (BPD) can be difficult at times, but it doesn't have to be something that harms your relationship. BPD symptoms can include complex and unhealthy thought processes, anxiety, poor self-image, and dramatic mood swings.


Why is it hard to maintain relationships with BPD?

People with borderline personality disorder usually have a hypersensitive reaction to rejection. This means that they may not react to rejection as well as someone who does not have this condition. This can lead to unstable relationships, self-image, and behaviors.

What to do when someone with BPD pushes you away?

Respect their need for space. You will reach a point where your loved one seems to be pushing you away. Don't walk away and leave them, but do respect their need for space. And let them know that.

Do people with BPD fall in love fast?

People affected by BPD often have highly unstable intimate relationships. Usually of above average intelligence, they tend to fall in love easily, sometimes without getting to know the person.


How do you make a BPD feel loved?

In order to foster a strong bond, it's important to know how to love someone with borderline personality disorder in a way that nurtures both of you.
  1. Acknowledge the Realness of BPD. ...
  2. Make Room for Yourself. ...
  3. Stop Rescuing. ...
  4. Encourage High-Quality Treatment. ...
  5. Treatment at Bridges to Recovery.


Can someone with BPD have two favorite persons?

An “FP” (or Favorite Person) is a person who someone with mental illness relies on for support, and often looks up to or idolizes. Common with borderline personality disorder (BPD), it's often that someone has a minimum of one FP, but a person can have many.