Is it a trauma bond or codependency?

Codependents are loyal to a fault. They are often preyed upon by and attracted to narcissists and abusers and feel trapped and hard to leave any relationship. This tendency is exaggerated in trauma bonds. You want to protect the abuser rather than yourself.


Is codependency the same as trauma bonding?

In order to heal and find trauma resolution, a person must be able and willing to see how their compulsive behavior only aids in forming trauma bonds and therefore they must break the compulsivity. Codependency on the other hand, focuses more on the addiction.

How do you tell if it's a trauma bond or love?

Signs & Symptoms of Trauma Bonding
  • An abuse victim covers up or makes excuses to others for an abuser's behavior.
  • An abuse victim lies to friends or family about the abuse.
  • A victim doesn't feel comfortable with or able to leave the abusive situation.
  • An abuse victim thinks the abuse is their fault.


What are 3 signs of a trauma bond?

Signs of trauma bonding
  • agree with the abusive person's reasons for treating them badly.
  • try to cover for the abusive person.
  • argue with or distance themselves from people trying to help, such as friends, family members, or neighbors.


Is codependency a form of trauma?

Childhood trauma is often a root cause of codependency. They don't always result, but for many people codependent relationships are a response to unaddressed past traumas. One reason may be that childhood trauma is usually family-centered: abuse, neglect, domestic violence, or even just divorce and fighting.


Codependency & The Trauma Bond



How do you break a trauma bond of codependency?

Outside of getting professional support, here are some steps you can take on your own to break free from a trauma bonded relationship:
  1. Educate Yourself. ...
  2. Focus on the Here and Now. ...
  3. Create Some Space. ...
  4. Find Support. ...
  5. Practice Good Self-Care. ...
  6. Make Future Plans. ...
  7. Develop Healthy Relationships. ...
  8. Give Yourself Permission to Heal.


What attachment style are codependents?

Anxious attachment is what is most often referred to as codependent. Those with anxious attachment often feel as though they would like to be close to others or one person in particular but they worry that another person may not want to be close to them. They struggle with feeling inferior, never good enough.

What are the seven stages of trauma bonding?

The seven stages of trauma bonding are:
  • Love Bombing. Love bombing involves the sudden, intense attempt to create a “we” in a relationship through high praise and excessive flattery. ...
  • Trust & Dependency. ...
  • Criticism. ...
  • Manipulation & Gaslighting. ...
  • Resignation & Giving Up. ...
  • Loss of Self. ...
  • Addiction to the Cycle.


What is a toxic trauma bond?

What Is Trauma Bonding? Trauma bonding occurs when a person involved in a toxic or abusive relationship forms a strong bond with, and often idealizes, their abuser. This emotional connection with an abuser is an unconscious way of coping with trauma or abuse.

What is trauma dumping?

Trauma dumping is a repeated pattern of venting about your problems in ways that transfer your issues and stress onto others. Over time, this can have a negative impact on you, on them, and your relationship.

What is the opposite of trauma bonding?

Trauma Bond vs.

A healthy, loving relationship is very different from a trauma bonding relationship. Healthy, loving, relationships do not involve violence and abuse. Loving relationships are characterized by: Physical and emotional safety.


Can a trauma bond turn into true love?

And the fact is, a trauma bond will not transform into a healthy relationship, no matter how much the person being abused hopes so or tries to fix it. “It's often mistaken for love,” Wilform says. “But love doesn't consist of you having to be in a cycle of being mentally diminished or physically hurt.”

Can you have a healthy relationship with someone you have a trauma bond with?

Unfortunately, transforming a trauma bond into a healthy attachment rarely happens, although it is possible to stop one from forming before it's too late. If you know that you are in a toxic relationship, seek help. It may seem difficult, even impossible.

What does extreme codependency look like?

Lacking trust in yourself and having poor self-esteem. Having fears of abandonment or an obsessive need for approval. Having an unhealthy dependence on relationships, even at your own cost. Having an exaggerated sense of responsibility for the actions of others.


What are three characteristics of codependency?

This article focuses on three common traits of codependency: control, people-pleasing and the lie of being “fine.

What are four symptoms involved in codependency?

Signs of Codependency
  • Poor boundaries with others.
  • Low-self esteem.
  • Caretaking.
  • Obsessions.
  • A need for control.
  • Difficulty making decisions.
  • Trouble identifying or communicating thoughts, feelings or needs.
  • Chronic anger or strong, emotional reactions.


What does a trauma bond with a narcissist look like?

You might be suffering from a trauma bond if you exhibit the following behaviors: You know they are abusive and manipulative, but you can't seem to let go. You ruminate over the incidents of abuse, engage in self-blame, and the abuser becomes the sole arbiter of your self-esteem and self-worth.


Does a trauma bond ever go away?

Trauma bonds can linger, even when the abuse happened long ago. You might struggle to stop thinking about someone who hurt you and feel the urge to reach out or try again. Here's a test that might help, though it's not at all conclusive: Ask yourself whether you'd encourage a loved one to leave a similar relationship.

How does a trauma bond start?

Trauma bonding occurs when a narcissist repeats a cycle of abuse with another person which fuels a need for validation and love from the person being abused. Trauma bonding often happens in romantic relationships, however, it can also occur between colleagues, non-romantic family members, and friends.

Do narcissists feel the trauma bond?

Do Narcissists Also Feel the Trauma Bond? Abusive narcissists likely do feel the bond too, but differently. It's so confusing for anyone in a relationship with a narcissist who's abusive to understand why they continue to hurt them, even when they say they love them.


Can 2 people be trauma bonded together?

A "trauma bond" is an attachment formed between two people who unconsciously bond to each other based on shared trauma. Traumatic bonds are typically established in abusive childhoods and are learned as a product of intermittent positive and negative reinforcement.

What is the difference between trauma bonding and Stockholm syndrome?

The term 'trauma bond' is also known as Stockholm Syndrome. It describes a deep bond which forms between a victim and their abuser. Victims of abuse often develop a strong sense of loyalty towards their abuser, despite the fact that the bond is damaging to them.

Are codependents anxious or avoidant?

In codependent relationships, givers have anxious attachment styles—they define themselves by their relationship, and will do whatever it takes to stay in it, according to Daniels. Takers, she says, tend to have avoidant attachment styles, meaning they try to avoid emotional connection at all costs.


What mental illness causes codependency?

Mental health experts borrowed criteria of codependent behavior from dependent personality disorder, borderline personality disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and histrionic personality disorder. Even without a clear diagnosis, giving up on someone with mental illness should be avoided.

Who do codependents marry?

Within a codependent marriage, one partner has extreme emotional or physical needs, and the other partner is willing to do whatever it takes to meet those needs. The codependent is so in love, and they want that love reciprocated.