How to deal with someone with a personality disorder?

Talk to them compassionately and calmly – when someone is experiencing difficult thoughts and feelings, their behaviour may be unexpected or upsetting, and you may feel unsettled. Try to understand what they're experiencing and what's affecting their thoughts, feelings and behaviour – this can help you to stay calm.


What to do with someone who has a personality disorder?

But there are lots of positive things you can do to support them:
  • Be patient.
  • Don't judge.
  • Be calm and consistent.
  • Remind them of their positive traits.
  • Set clear boundaries.
  • Plan ahead.
  • Learn their triggers.
  • Provide distractions.


What is the best way to deal with someone who has borderline personality disorder?

Validate Their Feelings

It can be tempting to try to talk them out of what they are feeling or write them off as simply irrational. However, those feelings are very real to the person with the disorder. Therefore, dismissing their emotions is not only profoundly painful, it is counterproductive.


How do you calm down someone with personality disorder?

Listening to your loved one and acknowledging their feelings is one of the best ways to help someone with BPD calm down. When you appreciate how a borderline person hears you and adjust how you communicate with them, you can help diffuse the attacks and rages and build a stronger, closer relationship.

How do you end a relationship with someone who has a personality disorder?

Gentle: Don't attack, threaten, or lay guilt trips. (Act) Interested: Listen to what your partner has to say, don't interrupt them, and be sensitive to what they are feeling. Validate: Be non-judgmental and validate their feelings and problems. Easy Manner: Try to be lighthearted and ease your partner along.


Supporting Loved One with BPD Quickstart Guide



What is the hardest type of personality disorder to treat?

Treating antisocial personality disorder

But antisocial personality disorder is one of the most difficult types of personality disorders to treat. A person with antisocial personality disorder may also be reluctant to seek treatment and may only start therapy when ordered to do so by a court.

Can you love someone with a personality disorder?

Key points. People with personality disorders do fall in love. They have leftover problems from childhood that make it hard for them to form stable intimate relationships. People with borderline, narcissistic, or schizoid personalities have difficulty sustaining mutually satisfying intimate relationships.

How does a person with personality disorder feel?

You may have strong emotions, mood swings, and feelings you can't cope if you live with BPD. You may feel anxious and distressed a lot of the time. You might have problems with how you see yourself and your identity. You may self-harm or use drugs and alcohol to cope with these feelings.


How do you communicate with someone with personality disorder?

How to Help
  1. Be patient.
  2. Be realistic.
  3. Try to separate facts from feelings.
  4. Validate feelings first.
  5. Listen actively and be sympathetic.
  6. Seek to distract when emotions rise.
  7. Do not allow yourself to be the product of the intense anger; attempt to diffuse it but sometimes you may have to walk away.


What are the first signs of a personality disorder?

Common signs of a personality disorder include:
  • strange or erratic behaviour.
  • suspicion and distrust.
  • taking risks.
  • extreme mood swings (angry outbursts)
  • difficulty with relationships.
  • problems at school or work.
  • need for instant gratification.


How do you argue with someone with BPD?

How to survive an argument with someone with BPD
  1. Genuinely try to listen. People with BPD are exceptionally sensitive, especially to signs of rejection or abandonment. ...
  2. Validate their feelings, not their behaviours. ...
  3. See their inner child. ...
  4. Setting kind but firm boundaries. ...
  5. Honour yourself.


Why do borderlines hurt the ones they love?

Often, the borderline person is unaware of how they feel when their feelings surface, so they displace their feelings onto others as causing them. They may not realise that their feelings belong within them, so they think that their partner is responsible for hurting them and causing them to feel this way.

How do you survive loving someone with BPD?

In order to foster a strong bond, it's important to know how to love someone with borderline personality disorder in a way that nurtures both of you.
  1. Acknowledge the Realness of BPD. ...
  2. Make Room for Yourself. ...
  3. Stop Rescuing. ...
  4. Encourage High-Quality Treatment. ...
  5. Treatment at Bridges to Recovery.


What are the 3 types of personality disorders?

Antisocial personality disorder (ASPD) Borderline personality disorder (BPD) Histrionic personality disorder.


What causes personality disorder?

Causes. It's not clear exactly what causes personality disorders, but they're thought to result from a combination of the genes a person inherits and early environmental influences – for example, a distressing childhood experience (such as abuse or neglect).

Can someone with personality disorder get better?

The condition seems to be worse in young adulthood and may gradually get better with age. If you have borderline personality disorder, don't get discouraged. Many people with this disorder get better over time with treatment and can learn to live satisfying lives.

How to act towards someone with multiple personality disorder?

Here are some things to keep in mind to provide the best support for your loved one after residential care:
  1. Encourage ongoing therapy. Most mental illnesses are not simply cured. ...
  2. Be patient. ...
  3. Don't play games with the identities. ...
  4. Try to understand triggers. ...
  5. Practice good mental hygiene together. ...
  6. Help with memory gaps.


How do you survive a personality disorder?

Self-Care to Help Manage BPD Symptoms
  1. Find and join a support group. ...
  2. Learn and use calming strategies. ...
  3. Try distractions. ...
  4. Actively work on relationships. ...
  5. Take charge of your health. ...
  6. Manage any co-occurring disorders or complications.


Do people with personality disorders realize they have them?

In some cases, you may not realize that you have a personality disorder because your way of thinking and behaving seems natural to you. And you may blame others for the challenges you face. Personality disorders usually begin in the teenage years or early adulthood. There are many types of personality disorders.

What are the four core features of personality disorder?

Four core features of personality disorders include inflexible, extreme and distorted thinking patterns (thoughts), problematic emotional response patterns (feelings), problems with impulse control (behavior), and substantial interpersonal problems (behavior) (APA, 2013).


Do personality disorders last forever?

The very definition of personality disorders as "chronic maladaptive patterns of behavior" implies that symptoms are stable over time; however, recent studies indicate that symptoms improve and may even completely remit over the years.

Who is attracted to borderline personality?

Borderline/dependent: A person with borderline personality disorder (BPD) is well-matched with a person who has a dependent personality disorder (DPD). The BPD has an intense fear of abandonment which is a good match for the DPD who will not leave even a dysfunctional relationship.

Can you live a normal life with personality disorder?

Know that you can live a normal life with BPD.

People with BPD often have risk-taking behaviors, such as overspending, drug use, reckless driving, or self-harm due to a lack of inhibition. Although these behaviors can be dangerous, and potentially life-threatening, many people with BPD are high-functioning individuals.


What personality disorders get worse with age?

Personality disorders that are susceptible to worsening with age include paranoid, schizoid, schizotypal, obsessive compulsive, borderline, histrionic, narcissistic, avoidant, and dependent, Dr. Rosowsky said at a conference sponsored by the American Society on Aging.

What happens if a personality disorder goes untreated?

Untreated personality disorders may result in: Poor relationships. Occupational difficulties. Impaired social functioning.