How do you tell someone you think they have borderline personality disorder?

Approach them very gently when they are in a stable mood. Don't specifically mention BPD if you can help it—just tell them their behavior is worrisome to you because you love them and want them to be happy. Offer your support every step of the way.


What to do if you suspect someone has borderline personality disorder?

But there are lots of positive things you can do to support them:
  1. Be patient.
  2. Don't judge.
  3. Be calm and consistent.
  4. Remind them of their positive traits.
  5. Set clear boundaries.
  6. Plan ahead.
  7. Learn their triggers.
  8. Provide distractions.


What to say to someone who thinks they have BPD?

Tell them that you really want to understand, and ask if they can say more about what they are feeling and why. Give the person hope for recovery by reassuring them that people with BPD can and do get better. Accept that the person is struggling and that life goals might need to be broken down into smaller steps.


How do you talk to someone with undiagnosed BPD?

How to Help
  1. Be patient.
  2. Be realistic.
  3. Try to separate facts from feelings.
  4. Validate feelings first.
  5. Listen actively and be sympathetic.
  6. Seek to distract when emotions rise.
  7. Do not allow yourself to be the product of the intense anger; attempt to diffuse it but sometimes you may have to walk away.


How to explain borderline personality disorder to someone who doesn t have it?

Give Specific Information About the Disorder

A pattern of unstable and intense relationships, often marked by alternating between idealization and devaluation. An unstable self-image or sense of self. Impulsivity in activities that are potentially self-damaging (like reckless driving or binge eating)


How to Spot the 9 Traits of Borderline Personality Disorder



What does a mild case of borderline personality disorder look like?

Wide mood swings lasting from a few hours to a few days, which can include intense happiness, irritability, shame or anxiety. Ongoing feelings of emptiness. Inappropriate, intense anger, such as frequently losing your temper, being sarcastic or bitter, or having physical fights.

What triggers BPD episodes?

Separations, disagreements, and rejections—real or perceived—are the most common triggers for symptoms. A person with BPD is highly sensitive to abandonment and being alone, which brings about intense feelings of anger, fear, suicidal thoughts and self-harm, and very impulsive decisions.

Are borderlines aware of their behavior?

People with borderline personality disorders are aware of their behaviors and the consequences of them and often act in increasingly erratic ways as a self-fulfilling prophecy to their abandonment fears.


What does an episode look like for someone with BPD?

Intense outbursts of anger are indicative of an episode of BPD as are bouts of depression and anxiety. Eighty percent of those suffering from BPD experience suicidal thoughts and behavior while in the throes of an episode as well.

How do therapists know if you have BPD?

There's no specific test for BPD, but a healthcare provider can determine a diagnosis with a comprehensive psychiatric interview and medical exam. After that, you can get appropriate treatment and begin to manage your symptoms better and move forward in your life.

How do you give reassurance to someone with BPD?

Calmly reassure the person with BPD when setting limits. Say something like, “I love you and I want our relationship to work, but I can't handle the stress caused by your behavior. I need you to make this change for me.”


How do you beat an argument against someone with BPD?

How to survive an argument with someone with BPD
  1. Genuinely try to listen. ...
  2. Validate their feelings, not their behaviours. ...
  3. See their inner child. ...
  4. Setting kind but firm boundaries. ...
  5. Honour yourself. ...
  6. Be specific. ...
  7. Be open. ...
  8. Suggest alternatives.


What is it like talking to someone with BPD?

1 Their moods can be volatile and intense, and it may be hard to control anger. 1 In addition, people with BPD may feel like they're being abandoned at the smallest slight, and these feelings are very real. This can trigger an emotional reaction that interferes with healthy communication.

What to do if you think your partner has BPD?

Finding Relief if You're Facing Relationship Problems Due to Borderline Personality Disorder
  1. Seek out information. ...
  2. Get help. ...
  3. Practice healthy communication. ...
  4. Ask open-ended questions. ...
  5. Talk only when your partner is calm. ...
  6. Offer support. ...
  7. Avoid labeling or blaming. ...
  8. Take threats seriously.


What are the three symptoms of borderline personality disorder?

Symptoms - Borderline personality disorder
  • emotional instability – the psychological term for this is "affective dysregulation"
  • disturbed patterns of thinking or perception – "cognitive distortions" or "perceptual distortions"
  • impulsive behaviour.
  • intense but unstable relationships with others.


Can you hide borderline personality disorder?

You may hide impulsive behaviors or try to repress your moods. You might also withdraw or isolate from others. Quiet BPD can take a toll on interpersonal relationships as you try to hide symptoms. It can also be challenging to maintain relationships due to extreme emotions and instability of moods and behaviors.

What is the biggest symptom of BPD?

Borderline personality disorder is a mental illness that severely impacts a person's ability to regulate their emotions. This loss of emotional control can increase impulsivity, affect how a person feels about themselves, and negatively impact their relationships with others.


How to spot the nine traits of borderline personality disorder?

The 9 symptoms of BPD
  1. Fear of abandonment. People with BPD are often terrified of being abandoned or left alone. ...
  2. Unstable relationships. ...
  3. Unclear or shifting self-image. ...
  4. Impulsive, self-destructive behaviors. ...
  5. Self-harm. ...
  6. Extreme emotional swings. ...
  7. Chronic feelings of emptiness. ...
  8. Explosive anger.


How do you get tested for BPD?

Personality disorders, including borderline personality disorder, are diagnosed based on a:
  1. Detailed interview with your doctor or mental health provider.
  2. Psychological evaluation that may include completing questionnaires.
  3. Medical history and exam.
  4. Discussion of your signs and symptoms.


Can borderlines show empathy?

People with BPD score low on cognitive empathy but high on emotional empathy. This suggests that they do not easily understand other peoples' perspectives, but their own emotions are very sensitive. This is important because it could align BPD with other neurodiverse conditions.


Do borderlines have remorse?

Only remorse leads to a real apology and change. One of the hallmarks of people with Borderline Personality Disorder or Narcissistic Personality Disorder (BP/NP) is that they often do not feel truly sorry. Even though a BP/NP may say he or she is sorry, there is often something lacking.

What is it like to live with someone who has borderline personality disorder?

Living with Someone with Borderline Personality: Challenges and Coping. Living with someone with borderline personality may involve being falsely accused, dealing with changes in mood, and facing love and rejection cycles. Understanding these behaviors aren't personal may help.

How do you calm someone with BPD?

8 Best Tips for How to Cope With a Loved One's Borderline Personality Disorder
  1. Learn About the Illness.
  2. Validate Their Feelings.
  3. Simplify Your Message.
  4. Encourage Responsibility.
  5. Set Boundaries.
  6. Don't Ignore Threats of Suicide or Self-Harm.
  7. Help Your Loved One Find Treatment.
  8. Find Support for Yourself.


Why do borderlines hurt the ones they love?

Often, the borderline person is unaware of how they feel when their feelings surface, so they displace their feelings onto others as causing them. They may not realise that their feelings belong within them, so they think that their partner is responsible for hurting them and causing them to feel this way.

What is a BPD rage episode?

Often referred to as BPD rage, this is an explosive reaction related to extreme anger and a failure to control this intense negative emotion. BPD rage usually has an immediate onset and can vanish just as quickly or last for hours, even days. 2. Poor emotional regulation is a key factor related to BPD rage.