How do you navigate a relationship with someone who has BPD?

12 Tips When Dating Someone With BPD
  1. Know Your Partner May Have Comorbidities. ...
  2. Learn About BPD. ...
  3. Consider Your Partner's Perception of the Relationship. ...
  4. Make Sure You Understand BPD Cycles. ...
  5. Preserve Your Well-being. ...
  6. Set Limits & Boundaries. ...
  7. Communicate Effectively. ...
  8. Learn to Detach With Love.


How to have a healthy relationship with someone who has BPD?

Finding Relief if You're Facing Relationship Problems Due to Borderline Personality Disorder
  1. Seek out information. ...
  2. Get help. ...
  3. Practice healthy communication. ...
  4. Ask open-ended questions. ...
  5. Talk only when your partner is calm. ...
  6. Offer support. ...
  7. Avoid labeling or blaming. ...
  8. Take threats seriously.


What someone with BPD needs in a relationship?

Offer emotional support.

Someone with BPD may feel very isolated because of their past. Offer your partner understanding and patience. It is possible for them to learn and have better behaviors.


How does someone with BPD act in a relationship?

The BPD partner may feel depressed and angry and start to experience extreme mood swings. They believe the negative inner monologue that says they're worthless. Their emotional volatility is so strong that they may engage in impulsive risky, life-threatening behaviors, or potentially become suicidal.

Can you have a successful relationship with someone with BPD?

Despite its many challenges, the prognosis for BPD is good. This means that while most people with BPD do experience residual symptoms even after time and treatment, in the long term, recovery and healthy relationships are possible.


What a Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) Episode Looks Like



Who are BPD attracted to?

Those who have BPD tend to be very intense, dramatic, and exciting. This means they tend to attract others who are depressed and/or suffering low self-esteem. People who take their power from being a victim, or seek excitement in others because their own life is not where they want it to be.

Why you shouldn't date someone with BPD?

Dating someone with borderline personality disorder can be challenging. Your partner may have major difficulties with strong emotions, drastic mood swings, chronic fear of abandonment, and impulsive behaviors that can strain your relationship with chaos and instability.

How do you tell if a borderline loves you?

If you suspect you're someone with BPD's favorite person, they may exhibit the following signs toward you:
  • Consistent need for reassurance.
  • Intense declarations of their love or appreciation for you.
  • Reaching out more frequently when you don't respond.
  • Fear that you will leave them or no longer love them.


What is dating someone with BPD like?

People with BPD may move quickly from feelings of idealization to devaluation regarding their partner and are more likely to terminate relationships than people without BPD. If you are dating someone with BPD, you may find it easy to blame yourself for your partner's erratic actions and symptoms.

Are BPD relationships toxic?

Often, the person with BPD will react towards loved ones as if they were the abusers from their past, and take out vengeance and anger towards them. When the person with BPD feels abandoned, they can become abusive or controlling as a way to defend against feelings of abandonment or feeling unworthy.

Are people with BPD loyal?

Passionate and emotional – When a person with BPD loves, the love is deep, highly committed and loyal to the relationship. Even though there may be struggles with attachment and fears of abandonment, these are ultimately manifestations of love.


How do you build trust with someone who has BPD?

The following 9 strategies can help you support a person with BPD:
  1. Learn about BPD. ...
  2. Show confidence and respect. ...
  3. Be trustworthy. ...
  4. Manage conflict with attachment. ...
  5. Encourage Professional Help. ...
  6. Identify strengths. ...
  7. Have fun together. ...
  8. Take suicide seriously.


Why do borderlines hurt the ones they love?

Often, the borderline person is unaware of how they feel when their feelings surface, so they displace their feelings onto others as causing them. They may not realise that their feelings belong within them, so they think that their partner is responsible for hurting them and causing them to feel this way.

How long does a BPD relationship last?

Results found in a 2014 study found the average length of a BPD relationship between those who either married or living together as partners was 7.3 years. However, there are cases where couples can stay together for 20+ years.


Are relationships hard for people with BPD?

Relationship difficulties

People with BPD often have patterns of intense or unstable relationships. This may involve a shift from extreme adoration to extreme dislike, known as a shift from idealization to devaluation. Relationships may be marked by attempts to avoid real or imagined abandonment.

Do people with BPD fall in love easily?

People affected by BPD often have highly unstable intimate relationships. Usually of above average intelligence, they tend to fall in love easily, sometimes without getting to know the person.

Can BPD feel love?

It's very common for someone with this disorder to have intense, unstable relationships filled with drastic and quick-changing feelings. A person with BPD may fall in love quickly and assume that the other person will make them happy.


Can someone with BPD ever be happy?

The stigma around BPD is pervasive, but many people get better. With treatment, it's possible to go on to lead a happy and healthy life.

Is Borderline personality clingy?

People with BPD can act overly needy. If you take them out of their comfort zone, or when they feel “abandoned” they can become a burden.

Do borderlines want to be loved?

People with BPD strongly desire a deep connection with those around them. This is partly because of their fear of abandonment but because they simply love people and crave deep connections. As a result, people with BPD tend to be very passionate partners.


How do you survive loving someone with BPD?

In order to foster a strong bond, it's important to know how to love someone with borderline personality disorder in a way that nurtures both of you.
  1. Acknowledge the Realness of BPD. ...
  2. Make Room for Yourself. ...
  3. Stop Rescuing. ...
  4. Encourage High-Quality Treatment. ...
  5. Treatment at Bridges to Recovery.


How do you text someone with BPD?

Here's what they had to say:
  1. “You matter to me.” ...
  2. “People need you. ...
  3. “You are stronger than you think. ...
  4. “My world would be nothing without you.” ...
  5. “I love you and want you in my life.” ...
  6. “Even if it seems small to others, I can understand it's big for you. ...
  7. “You being around is good for me and not hurting me.”


What to do when someone with BPD pulls away?

Respect their need for space. You will reach a point where your loved one seems to be pushing you away. Don't walk away and leave them, but do respect their need for space. And let them know that.


Should you give up on someone with BPD?

If you are friend or a loved one with a mental health condition reading this now, please do not give up on them. People who have a condition such as Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) will most certainly have issues maintaining relationships which can make it hard to stay with them at times.

When should you leave someone with BPD?

Enable the person with BPD by protecting them from the consequences of their actions. If your loved one won't respect your boundaries and continues to make you feel unsafe, then you may need to leave. It doesn't mean you don't love them, but your self-care should always take priority.