How do you help someone in a BPD episode?

But there are lots of positive things you can do to support them:
  1. Be patient.
  2. Don't judge.
  3. Be calm and consistent.
  4. Remind them of their positive traits.
  5. Set clear boundaries.
  6. Plan ahead.
  7. Learn their triggers.
  8. Provide distractions.


What are some coping skills for BPD?

You could:
  • Wrap up in a blanket and watch your favourite TV show.
  • Write all your negative feelings on a piece of paper and tear it up.
  • Listen to music that you find uplifting or soothing.
  • Write a comforting letter to the part of yourself that is feeling sad or alone.
  • Let yourself cry or sleep.
  • Cuddle a pet or a soft toy.


What do you say to someone who is in a borderline episode?

Tell them that you really want to understand, and ask if they can say more about what they are feeling and why. Give the person hope for recovery by reassuring them that people with BPD can and do get better. Accept that the person is struggling and that life goals might need to be broken down into smaller steps.


How do you calm down a BPD crisis?

Things you can say or do to help a person in crisis:
  1. Acknowledge their feelings.
  2. Witness their process.
  3. Affirm their right to speak.
  4. Validate their emotional experience.
  5. Listen without judgement and be sensitive.
  6. Allow them to process what is going on.
  7. Let them cry.


How can I help my friend with BPD?

The following 9 strategies can help you support a person with BPD:
  1. Learn about BPD. ...
  2. Show confidence and respect. ...
  3. Be trustworthy. ...
  4. Manage conflict with attachment. ...
  5. Encourage Professional Help. ...
  6. Identify strengths. ...
  7. Have fun together. ...
  8. Take suicide seriously.


Supporting Loved One with BPD Quickstart Guide



What not to do to someone with BPD?

But with some individuals with BPD, you don't want to get into the habit of allowing certain things such as calls after hours, visits to your home without announcing it, borrowing your things and never returning them, driving your car and keeping it longer than they should, etc.

How do you make someone with BPD feel loved?

In order to foster a strong bond, it's important to know how to love someone with borderline personality disorder in a way that nurtures both of you.
  1. Acknowledge the Realness of BPD. ...
  2. Make Room for Yourself. ...
  3. Stop Rescuing. ...
  4. Encourage High-Quality Treatment. ...
  5. Treatment at Bridges to Recovery.


How do you respond to BPD outburst?

How to Help
  1. Be patient.
  2. Be realistic.
  3. Try to separate facts from feelings.
  4. Validate feelings first.
  5. Listen actively and be sympathetic.
  6. Seek to distract when emotions rise.
  7. Do not allow yourself to be the product of the intense anger; attempt to diffuse it but sometimes you may have to walk away.


What causes BPD flare ups?

Separations, disagreements, and rejections—real or perceived—are the most common triggers for symptoms. A person with BPD is highly sensitive to abandonment and being alone, which brings about intense feelings of anger, fear, suicidal thoughts and self-harm, and very impulsive decisions.

How do you deal with an angry BPD episode?

When faced with BPD rage – which stems from the BPD person's interpretation of an event – it is important that you react in a calm and validating manner. Take care of your own emotional and mental health and seek therapy for yourself. Encourage and support treatment (when the BPD person is ready)

How do you respond to BPD silent treatment?

How to respond
  1. Name the situation. Acknowledge that someone is using the silent treatment. ...
  2. Use 'I' statements. ...
  3. Acknowledge the other person's feelings. ...
  4. Apologize for words or actions. ...
  5. Cool off and arrange a time to resolve the issue. ...
  6. Avoid unhelpful responses.


What is a borderline personality episode like?

With borderline personality disorder, you have an intense fear of abandonment or instability, and you may have difficulty tolerating being alone. Yet inappropriate anger, impulsiveness and frequent mood swings may push others away, even though you want to have loving and lasting relationships.

How long does BPD rage last?

Intense and sometimes inappropriate rage is a characteristic of borderline personality disorder (BPD). A person with this condition has difficulty regulating their emotions or returning to their baseline. Extremes of rage and other intense emotions may last longer than might be expected, from a few hours to a few days.

How extreme are BPD mood swings?

People with borderline personality disorder may experience intense mood swings and feel uncertainty about how they see themselves. Their feelings for others can change quickly, and swing from extreme closeness to extreme dislike. These changing feelings can lead to unstable relationships and emotional pain.


What does borderline rage feel like?

Borderline rage, or borderline anger, is more than just a standard emotional reaction. In the fifth edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), anger in BPD is described as "inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger."

How do I deal with my partner's BPD rage?

Listen actively and be sympathetic and focus on emotions rather than the words. Ensure that you demonstrate that the person with BPD feels heard. When someone is upset or angry, it's easy and understandable to reciprocate, but it is not helpful.

Should you ignore someone with BPD?

Even though people with BPD are unpredictable, they need to be included in your plans. You should never ignore them during these times. They will feel disrespected, and this could lead to more fighting. Instead, try to include them in your activities and treat them kindly.


Why do borderlines hurt the ones they love?

Often, the borderline person is unaware of how they feel when their feelings surface, so they displace their feelings onto others as causing them. They may not realise that their feelings belong within them, so they think that their partner is responsible for hurting them and causing them to feel this way.

How do I reassure my partner with BPD?

Here are 20 ways to help someone with BPD:
  1. Offer Ongoing Support. ...
  2. Validate Their Emotions. ...
  3. Learn More About BPD. ...
  4. Communicate That You Want to Understand Their Experience. ...
  5. Support & Help Them Manage Their Treatment Plan. ...
  6. Stay Calm & Consistent. ...
  7. Find Ways to Decrease Your Own Reactivity. ...
  8. Learn About Their Triggers.


Should you argue with someone with BPD?

There's No Such Thing As a 'Little' Argument

It's normal for couples to fight. But when one person in a relationship has BPD, a simple argument can trigger an emotional downward spiral because people with BPD see it as evidence of abandonment or rejection. Partners often learn that the hard way, said Dr.


Do borderlines feel remorse?

Only remorse leads to a real apology and change. One of the hallmarks of people with Borderline Personality Disorder or Narcissistic Personality Disorder (BP/NP) is that they often do not feel truly sorry. Even though a BP/NP may say he or she is sorry, there is often something lacking.

Are borderlines aware of their behavior?

People with borderline personality disorders are aware of their behaviors and the consequences of them and often act in increasingly erratic ways as a self-fulfilling prophecy to their abandonment fears.

What happens after a BPD episode?

These episodes can last several hours and be followed by a more stable period. These episodes could also last several days and negatively affect the person's work, relationships, or physical health. Some people with BPD are prone to self-injury, accidents, and fights.


How long does a borderline episode last?

A person with BPD may experience intense episodes of anger, depression, and anxiety that may last from only a few hours to days.”

How do you break the BPD cycle?

Get Moving

Getting out of your head and concentrating on the physicality of moving your body can break the cycle of dark thoughts, maybe long enough to take that first step toward seeking treatment.