How do you have a healthy relationship with someone with BPD?

To help someone with BPD, first take care of yourself
  1. Avoid the temptation to isolate. ...
  2. You're allowed (and encouraged) to have a life! ...
  3. Join a support group for BPD family members. ...
  4. Don't neglect your physical health. ...
  5. Learn to manage stress. ...
  6. Listen actively and be sympathetic. ...
  7. Focus on the emotions, not the words.


Is it possible to have a healthy relationship with someone with BPD?

With treatment and continual support from family and partners, people with BPD can have successful relationships.

Is it hard to be in a relationship with someone with BPD?

Dating someone with borderline personality disorder can be challenging. Your partner may have major difficulties with strong emotions, drastic mood swings, chronic fear of abandonment, and impulsive behaviors that can strain your relationship with chaos and instability.


What kind of partner is good for someone with BPD?

Being empathetic to your BPD partner's feelings and thoughts will help them feel seen and heard, which can de-escalate their crisis. In other words: If your partner is emotional, try to listen instead of expressing your opinion. This would calm them down faster.

How do you survive loving someone with BPD?

In order to foster a strong bond, it's important to know how to love someone with borderline personality disorder in a way that nurtures both of you.
  1. Acknowledge the Realness of BPD. ...
  2. Make Room for Yourself. ...
  3. Stop Rescuing. ...
  4. Encourage High-Quality Treatment. ...
  5. Treatment at Bridges to Recovery.


How to Have a Healthy Happy Relationship When You Have BPD



What makes a BPD feel loved?

One person told us they felt loved whenever they had their picture taken. Another felt loved when they got any sort of attention — good or bad. One person said that being asked to rate their mood on a scale of one to 10 made them feel validated and secure.

How do people with BPD show affection?

Affection – People with BPD are either extremely affectionate or withdrawn, which may be confusing for those who don't have the disorder. Abandonment – Lots of people are scared that their partner isn't happy; but when you have BPD, you may be in constant worry that they will leave.

Why do borderlines hurt the ones they love?

Often, the borderline person is unaware of how they feel when their feelings surface, so they displace their feelings onto others as causing them. They may not realise that their feelings belong within them, so they think that their partner is responsible for hurting them and causing them to feel this way.


What it's like to be in a relationship with someone with BPD?

People with BPD are often terrified that others will leave them. However, they can also shift suddenly to feeling smothered and fearful of intimacy, which leads them to withdraw from relationships. The result is a constant back-and-forth between demands for love or attention and sudden withdrawal or isolation.

How long does a BPD relationship last?

Results found in a 2014 study found the average length of a BPD relationship between those who either married or living together as partners was 7.3 years. However, there are cases where couples can stay together for 20+ years.

How do you reassure someone with BPD?

But there are lots of positive things you can do to support them:
  1. Be patient.
  2. Don't judge.
  3. Be calm and consistent.
  4. Remind them of their positive traits.
  5. Set clear boundaries.
  6. Plan ahead.
  7. Learn their triggers.
  8. Provide distractions.


How do BPD react to breakup?

People with BPD may be sensitive to rejection and abandonment and are prone to splitting, rage, and impulsivity. If a person with BPD feels rejected or abandoned, they may end the relationship. However, this is usually followed by significant anxiety and regret and efforts to get back together.

Do borderlines choose their favorite person?

For a person with BPD there are significant fears of abandonment and they will attach to a favourite person and rely on this person for emotional validation and security. Their favourite person becomes the source of their comfort and devotion.

When should you leave someone with BPD?

Enable the person with BPD by protecting them from the consequences of their actions. If your loved one won't respect your boundaries and continues to make you feel unsafe, then you may need to leave. It doesn't mean you don't love them, but your self-care should always take priority.


Do people with BPD fall in love fast?

People affected by BPD often have highly unstable intimate relationships. Usually of above average intelligence, they tend to fall in love easily, sometimes without getting to know the person.

What to do when someone with BPD pushes you away?

Respect their need for space. You will reach a point where your loved one seems to be pushing you away. Don't walk away and leave them, but do respect their need for space. And let them know that.

How do I know if someone I love has BPD?

Signs and Symptoms
  1. Intense fear of rejection, separation, or abandonment.
  2. Rapid changes between thinking someone is perfect to believing they are evil.
  3. Risky behaviors including unsafe sex, gambling, drug use, or accumulating credit card debt.
  4. Threats of suicide or self-harm.
  5. Difficulty empathizing with other people.


How do you stop a BPD episode?

If you suffer from borderline personality disorder, here are some ways to help cope with the symptoms that can lead to or trigger an episode:
  1. Take a warm shower or bath.
  2. Play music that relaxes you.
  3. Engage in a physical activity.
  4. Do brain teasers or problem-solving activities.
  5. Talk to a sympathetic loved one.


Is borderline personality clingy?

People with BPD can act overly needy. If you take them out of their comfort zone, or when they feel “abandoned” they can become a burden.

Are borderlines loyal?

We're loyal partners and friends

Though there's often an assumption that we have unstable relationships – and in fact this is listed as one of the main symptoms of BPD – we are extremely loyal. As mentioned above, we tend to put ourselves last. Relationships are truly important to us, and our loyalty is strong.


Do borderlines trust?

According to previous research, patients with borderline personality disorder (BPD) show intense reactions to perceived abandonment, a high degree of mistrust, and a distorted, negative perception of others that contribute significantly to interpersonal problems.

How do you stop BPD from splitting in a relationship?

Some might say that a person who splits sees the world in terms of black or white—all or nothing.
...
Caring and Management
  1. Cultivate empathy. ...
  2. Encourage and support treatment. ...
  3. Maintain lines of communication. ...
  4. Remind your loved one that you care. ...
  5. Set boundaries.


How do you deal with BPD rage in a relationship?

When faced with BPD rage – which stems from the BPD person's interpretation of an event – it is important that you react in a calm and validating manner. Take care of your own emotional and mental health and seek therapy for yourself. Encourage and support treatment (when the BPD person is ready)


Do borderlines feel remorse?

Only remorse leads to a real apology and change. One of the hallmarks of people with Borderline Personality Disorder or Narcissistic Personality Disorder (BP/NP) is that they often do not feel truly sorry. Even though a BP/NP may say he or she is sorry, there is often something lacking.

How do you build trust with someone who has BPD?

The following 9 strategies can help you support a person with BPD:
  1. Learn about BPD. ...
  2. Show confidence and respect. ...
  3. Be trustworthy. ...
  4. Manage conflict with attachment. ...
  5. Encourage Professional Help. ...
  6. Identify strengths. ...
  7. Have fun together. ...
  8. Take suicide seriously.