Do codependents play the victim?

The codependent is a double-victim. They face the toxicity of their partner's behavior. This is compounded by their own self-sabotaging reactions and inability to leave environments that further deepen their insecurities.


Is codependency victim blaming?

To see an abused woman as codependent is tantamount to blaming her for the abuse she receives. Such a judgment by a professional she turns to for support leaves her feeling alone, misunderstood, and without the right help for her to make a positive change in her life.

What are some signs of codependent behavior?

Signs of codependency include:
  • Difficulty making decisions in a relationship.
  • Difficulty identifying your feelings.
  • Difficulty communicating in a relationship.
  • Valuing the approval of others more than valuing yourself.
  • Lacking trust in yourself and having poor self-esteem.


Are codependents selfish?

Codependency is often associated with excess selflessness. Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is often linked to excess selfishness. Many narratives depict codependent people as victims who fall prey to those with narcissistic traits.

What kind of people do codependents attract?

Codependents seek out partners whom they can save and get drowned in taking care of their partners while never being taken care of themselves. Like a pair of dysfunctional puzzle pieces perfectly fitting together floating across a sea of misery, codependents attract those who desire caregivers and enablers (vampires).


When Narcissists Play The Victim Card (And Virtually All Do)



What are codependents afraid of?

Codependent fears

As a result, codependents tend to fear rejection, criticism, not being good enough, failure, conflict, vulnerability, and being out of control. So, situations and people that trigger these fears can spike our anxiety.

Are codependents nice people?

Codependents are nice. If you are codependent, people will usually describe you as sweet, loyal and selfless. But if you were to plunge an emotional stethoscope into the core of the codependent, you'd likely find fear, loneliness and neediness that runs contrary to their “I'm so nice and together” image.

How are codependents manipulative?

Codependents have trouble being direct and assertive and may use manipulation to get their way. They may say whatever they think someone wants to hear to get along or be loved, but then later they do what they want. This is also passive-aggressive behavior.


Do codependents lack empathy?

A codependent is someone whose feelings, thoughts, and actions revolve around another person. [I] Codependents needn't be empathetic and an empath needn't be codependent. Some people justify or glorify their codependency on the fact that they're empathetic; however, codependency is something very specific.

Do codependents act like narcissists?

One study showed a significant correlation between narcissism and codependency. Although most narcissists can be classified as codependent, but the reverse isn't true — most codependents aren't narcissists. They don't exhibit common traits of exploitation, entitlement, and lack of empathy.

What makes a codependent angry?

Because of dependency, codependents attempt to control others in order to feel better, rather than to initiate effective action. But when people don't do what they want, they feel angry, victimized, unappreciated or uncared for, and powerless — unable to be agents of change for ourselves.


What mental illness causes codependency?

Mental health experts borrowed criteria of codependent behavior from dependent personality disorder, borderline personality disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and histrionic personality disorder. Even without a clear diagnosis, giving up on someone with mental illness should be avoided.

How do codependents think?

Codependency is when we choose the thoughts that keep us feeling dependent on others and how they feel as a way to validate ourselves. This extreme of codependency is just as unhealthy and just as damaging to relationships and to ourselves as striving for the false notion of complete independence.

What childhood trauma causes codependency?

Childhood trauma is often a root cause of codependency. They don't always result, but for many people codependent relationships are a response to unaddressed past traumas. One reason may be that childhood trauma is usually family-centered: abuse, neglect, domestic violence, or even just divorce and fighting.


Can codependents be manipulative?

The codependent manipulates themselves as well. Their need for perfection keeps them going in order to avoid failure. They often have two speeds: all or nothing. Manipulating Others – Their desire for perfection often seeps onto others.

Are codependents passive aggressive?

Recognizing Passive Aggressive Behavior

A passive aggressive person often is codependent – suffering from low self-esteem, unable to express their own anger. They fear being controlled by others and having their weaknesses exposed, and will therefore sabotage whatever your wants, needs, or plans are.

Are codependents clingy?

Codependency refers to the state of needing to have another person validate you, depend upon you, and make sacrifices for you to prove their love to you. It's a dysfunctional relationship pattern that may involve clinginess when your partner isn't there.


Are codependents jealous?

People in codependent partnerships typically have low self-esteem and therefore become threatened by other relationships their partner has with friends and family, for example, says Miller. That breeds lots of jealousy and resentment...which they tend to keep bottled up, since revealing it can rock the relationship.

Are codependents immature?

Is codependency a sign of emotional immaturity? No, codependency is just a coping style, and can be used by mature or immature people. Codependent behavior will look different depending on the emotional maturity level of the person using it.

Are codependents people pleasers?

Is codependency the same as people-pleasing? You can have people-pleasing tendencies and still not be codependent. “All codependent people are people pleasers, but not all people pleasers are codependent,” says Kate Engler, a licensed marriage and family therapist in Skokie, Illinois.


Do codependents trust issues?

Codependents have issues with trust. They're prone to distrust people or the reverse. They trust too easily. Frequently, they do both.

Are codependents control freaks?

A codependent often feels like they have control over other people's actions and feelings, while not being able to control their own. They tend to feel like their partner can't resolve their own issues without their help, and will do everything in their power to seize control over the situation.

Why are codependents so needy?

Codependents are needy, demanding, and submissive. They suffer from abandonment anxiety and, to avoid being overwhelmed by it, they cling to others and act immaturely. These behaviors are intended to elicit protective responses and to safeguard the "relationship" with their companion or mate upon whom they depend.


Do codependents move on quickly?

Codependents often have a particularly difficult time moving on after a break-up or the end of a relationship. Even when you know it was a dysfunctional or unhealthy relationship, you cant seem to let go and move forward with your life.

Why do codependents feel alone?

The absence of someone nurturing to listen, care, and affirm our existence makes us feel isolated or emotionally abandoned. Although intimate connections are the remedy, characteristically, codependent relationships lack of intimacy. Codependents have difficulty with intimacy due to shame and poor communication skills.
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