Can a trauma bond feel like love?

Much like love bombing, trauma bonds can give the resemblance of love. They're often confused for love because of the trying nature, and when you love someone, you do try. Trauma bond relationships are driven by fear, not love, which is the biggest differentiator between trauma bonds and love.


Is it true love or trauma bond?

True love usually begins off slow and steady, where the chemistry is strong at first and gradually grows fainter over time. On the other hand, a trauma bond is characterised by an imbalance of power, high intensity, and an unpredictable atmosphere, rapidly shifting between periods of cruelty and tenderness.

What are the signs of trauma bonding?

Recognizing Signs of Trauma Bonding
  • Cycle of Abuse. ...
  • Power Imbalance. ...
  • Not Being Able To Leave. ...
  • Making Excuses for the Behaviour. ...
  • Keeping the Abuse a Secret. ...
  • Wanting To “Please” the Abuser. ...
  • Distancing from People Trying To Help. ...
  • Fixating on “The Good Days”


Does shared trauma make people fall in love?

Suffering, hurt, and trauma have always been the primordial reasons for intense connection, as these emotions were considered selfless, sacrificing, and empathetic. That's one common reason that people bond easily over similar trauma.

Why am I attracted to people who have been through trauma?

This is the premise of trauma bonding. Some theories suggest this is our subconscious mind trying to resolve old wounds. Even minor traumas, like the feeling “my parents never heard me,” can lead you to be attracted to, or hypersensitive to, someone who struggles to be present with you.


8 Signs Its A Trauma Bond, Not Love



Can you have a healthy relationship with someone you have a trauma bond with?

Unfortunately, transforming a trauma bond into a healthy attachment rarely happens, although it is possible to stop one from forming before it's too late. If you know that you are in a toxic relationship, seek help. It may seem difficult, even impossible.

What are the 7 stages of trauma bonding?

The seven stages of trauma bonding are:
  • Love Bombing. Love bombing involves the sudden, intense attempt to create a “we” in a relationship through high praise and excessive flattery. ...
  • Trust & Dependency. ...
  • Criticism. ...
  • Manipulation & Gaslighting. ...
  • Resignation & Giving Up. ...
  • Loss of Self. ...
  • Addiction to the Cycle.


How do I stop loving my trauma bond?

Outside of getting professional support, here are some steps you can take on your own to break free from a trauma bonded relationship:
  1. Educate Yourself. ...
  2. Focus on the Here and Now. ...
  3. Create Some Space. ...
  4. Find Support. ...
  5. Practice Good Self-Care. ...
  6. Make Future Plans. ...
  7. Develop Healthy Relationships. ...
  8. Give Yourself Permission to Heal.


Does trauma bonding ever go away?

Trauma bonds can linger, even when the abuse happened long ago. You might struggle to stop thinking about someone who hurt you and feel the urge to reach out or try again. Here's a test that might help, though it's not at all conclusive: Ask yourself whether you'd encourage a loved one to leave a similar relationship.

What are 3 signs of a trauma bond?

Signs of trauma bonding
  • agree with the abusive person's reasons for treating them badly.
  • try to cover for the abusive person.
  • argue with or distance themselves from people trying to help, such as friends, family members, or neighbors.


Why is the trauma bond so strong?

The cycle of being devalued and then rewarded over and over, works overtime to create a strong chemical and hormonal bond between a victim and his or her abuser. This is why victims of abuse often describe feeling more deeply bonded to their abuser than they do to people who actually consistently treat them well.


How long does it take to detach from a trauma bond?

According to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, on average, it takes a survivor seven times to successfully leave an abusive relationship for good. Trauma bonds are at the crux of this statistic.

Do narcissists feel the trauma bond?

Do Narcissists Also Feel the Trauma Bond? Abusive narcissists likely do feel the bond too, but differently. It's so confusing for anyone in a relationship with a narcissist who's abusive to understand why they continue to hurt them, even when they say they love them.

Is trauma bonding toxic?

A trauma bond is a toxic relationship that is forged out of pain, abuse, and codependency. It's often a romantic relationship, but it can also be a relationship with a parent, sibling, or even a friend.


How hard is it to break a trauma bond?

Due to the toxic nature of a trauma bonded relationship, individuals suffering abuse will find it difficult to leave the relationship. Loved ones may have difficulty understanding why the person experiencing abuse does not just end the relationship. However, breaking free of a trauma bond often takes time and support.

What strengthens a trauma bond?

Trauma bonding is a bond that develops when two people undergo intense, risky emotional experiences together. In the context of an abusive relationship, this bond is strengthened due to the heightenedintimacy and danger.

Can 2 people be trauma bonded together?

Trauma bonds are not just found in romantic relationships. They can happen between family members, friends, and even coworkers. This bond is forged through affection alternating with abuse.


What does trauma bonding do to the brain?

Trauma Bonds Create Chemical Warfare in our Brains

Reuniting and the love-bombing that follows then floods our systems with dopamine. Dopamine and oxytocin together strengthen our bond even more and ease our fear and anxiety.

What is trauma dumping?

Sharing trauma without permission, in an inappropriate place and time, to someone who may not have the capacity to process it. That's trauma dumping. It's become so commonplace on social media, our kids may have come to accept it as normal. It's not.

What is trauma love?

Trauma bonding occurs when a narcissist repeats a cycle of abuse with another person which fuels a need for validation and love from the person being abused. Trauma bonding often happens in romantic relationships, however, it can also occur between colleagues, non-romantic family members, and friends.


How trauma bonds affect future relationships?

Childhood trauma, abuse, and domestic violence can create rifts in our ability to trust others, and often this translates into problems in future relationships. When two people who already have trauma histories get involved, it often turns into disastrous scenarios in which each person is triggered by the other.

What's the opposite of a trauma bond?

A healthy, loving relationship is very different from a trauma bonding relationship. Healthy, loving, relationships do not involve violence and abuse. Loving relationships are characterized by: Physical and emotional safety.

How do you break free from trauma bonding from a narcissist?

Although the survivor might disclose the abuse, the trauma bond means she may also seek to receive comfort from the very person who abused her.
  1. Physically separate from the abuser. ...
  2. Cut off all lines of communication as far as possible. ...
  3. Acknowledge you have a choice and can choose to leave the relationship.


What is the difference between trauma bonding and codependency?

In order to heal and find trauma resolution, a person must be able and willing to see how their compulsive behavior only aids in forming trauma bonds and therefore they must break the compulsivity. Codependency on the other hand, focuses more on the addiction.

Are trauma bonds addictive?

For adults, trauma bonding may even lead them to push away their other loved ones for fear of judgment. Addiction may also be a part of a trauma bond relationship.