Am I being mean or assertive?

Assertive behavior is all about standing up for yourself, but aggression usually involves threatening, attacking, or (to a lesser degree) ignoring others. Assertive individuals stand up for themselves—for their beliefs, their values, their needs. And they do so in a respectful, unthreatening, nonviolent way.

What is the difference between being assertive and being rude?

There is a stark difference between the two, yet assertiveness and rudeness, mistakenly, go hand in hand. Simply put, assertiveness is being confident without being aggressive. It can take courage especially when confronting your superior.

How can I be assertive but not mean?

How to be assertive and nice at the same time:
  1. Practice. ...
  2. Use “I” statements. ...
  3. Focus on specific behavior rather than making it personal. ...
  4. Say “no” cushioned with a compliment. ...
  5. Have one consistent message. ...
  6. Don't be apologetic or self-effacing. ...
  7. Look confident. ...
  8. Speak calmly.

Is being assertive being mean?

Assertiveness is rooted in mutual respect. When you have respect for the other person's feelings, you can express your feelings without being aggressive. You can have your say in a way that is assertive but is not demanding, aggressive or mean.

What are 2 signs of an assertive personality?

Signs of assertive behaviour include:
  • initiating or ending conversations.
  • making requests and asking for favors.
  • being able to say “no.”
  • addressing issues that bother you.
  • being firm.
  • expressing both positive and negative emotions.

Assertive vs. Aggressive

How do you know if you are assertive or aggressive?

Assertive communication shows respect for others' needs; aggressive communication does not. It is respectful, clear, and firm. This includes listening to the other person and showing interest or concern. Aggressive communication can include making demands of someone without listening to them.

What are 5 assertive behaviors?

Here's what it means to be assertive:
  • You can give an opinion or say how you feel.
  • You can ask for what you want or need.
  • You can disagree respectfully.
  • You can offer your ideas and suggestions.
  • You can say no without feeling guilty.
  • You can speak up for someone else.

What are 3 qualities of assertive behavior?

5 Characteristics of an Assertive Person
  • They have confidence in themselves. ...
  • They respect the opinions of others. ...
  • Assertive people have the ability to validate other's feelings. ...
  • Assertive individuals are good listeners. ...
  • Problem solving and compromise.

What are the 3 key assertive behaviors?

Being Assertive
  • Being open in expressing wishes, thoughts and feelings and encouraging others to do likewise. ...
  • Listening to the views of others and responding appropriately, whether in agreement with those views or not. ...
  • Accepting responsibilities and being able to delegate to others.

What are the 3 C's of assertive communication?

What Are The 3 C's Of Assertive Communication? Confidence – you believe in your ability to handle a situation. Clear – the message you have is clear and easy to understand. Controlled – you deliver information in a calm and controlled manner.

How can I be direct but polite?

3 Ways to Be Direct (Without Being Rude)
  1. Balance advocacy and inquiry. "There's real power in demonstrating genuine curiosity into the opposing point-of-view before you launch into attacking it. ...
  2. 2 Criticize ideas, not people. ...
  3. 3 Don't lead with authority.

What is a weakness of an assertive individual?

Assertive. The advantage is that you are able to see, hear, love others more easily; you get your needs met; you have confidence. The disadvantage is that there is no guarantee things will work out; there are sometimes people who are uncomfortable with you being direct and honest.

Is assertive rare?

Assertiveness is rare and fluctuating

If you struggle to speak up, you're not alone. There's no real count of how many people are effectively assertive, but psychologists tell us it's rare.

How do I know if I'm rude?

13 Ways You Don't Realize You're Being Rude
  • Ending Texts With Periods. ...
  • Not Tipping Enough. ...
  • Telling People You're "On Your Way" ...
  • Not Making Eye Contact During A Toast. ...
  • Texting During A Meal. ...
  • Thinking About Your Answer While Someone Is Speaking. ...
  • Sending Emotionless, Brief Emails Every Single Time.

What are 8 keys to assertive behavior?

The book offers effective methods for transforming passive-aggression into healthy assertiveness to communicate in constructive ways through eight keys: Recognize Your Hidden Anger; Reconnect Your Emotions to Your Thoughts; Listen to Your Body; Set Healthy Boundaries; Communicate Assertively; Interact Using Mindfulness ...

What does it mean to be assertive but not aggressive?

Aggressive communication is usually not respectful of anyone else and it can be very angry or forceful. In contrast, assertive communication skills emphasize talking about issues or problems using “I” statement that don't make assumptions about the feelings of others.

What are 10 example of assertive?

Assertive Sentence: Example
  • In her spare time, she enjoys writing about the chirping of birds.
  • She has an aversion to crowds.
  • Her younger brother mimics animal noises.
  • It had started to rain.
  • Honesty is the best policy.
  • The class was full of pupils.
  • East is the direction in which the Sun rises.

Which behavior is most assertive?

Assertive behavior is all about standing up for yourself, but aggression usually involves threatening, attacking, or (to a lesser degree) ignoring others. Assertive individuals stand up for themselves—for their beliefs, their values, their needs. And they do so in a respectful, unthreatening, nonviolent way.

What is not an assertive behavior?

Nonassertion. Nonassertion is failing to stand up for oneself, or standing up for oneself in such an ineffectual manner that one's rights are easily violated.

What type of people are assertive?

Assertive individuals are self-assured, even-tempered, and resistant to stress. They don't worry too much, but this is different from apathy. They aim for goals and want successful results, but they typically won't let nervousness color the path to their accomplishments.

What are the 7 actions for assertive communication?

7 steps to improve your assertive communication skills
  • Quick Links. Don't be afraid to say no. ...
  • Don't be afraid to say no. ...
  • Take care with your tone. ...
  • Learn the importance of discussion. ...
  • Be mindful of your body language. ...
  • Use the language of assertiveness. ...
  • Script what you want to say. ...
  • Pick your battles.

What are the four types of assertiveness?

These include Basic Assertion, Emphathic Assertion, Escalating Assertion and I-Language Assertion (4 Types of Assertion).

How does a person act when they are being assertive?

Being assertive means communicating with others in a direct and honest manner without intentionally hurting anyone's feelings. Direct communication can reduce conflict, build self-confidence and enhance personal and work relationships. Assertiveness is a skill that anyone can learn.

What are some assertive phrases?

Here are a few examples of assertive statements:
  • “I disagree with that. ...
  • “Thanks for thinking of me, but I'm going to say no this time.”
  • “Unfortunately, I can't take on any more tasks at the moment.”
  • “Please don't walk away from me while we're having a conversation.”
  • “I respect your opinion, but let's agree to disagree.”

What is the opposite of assertiveness?

Opposite of having or showing a confident and self-assured personality. reserved. self-conscious. sheepish. unobtrusive.